I haven’t been able to find it, but I am sure that somewhere in the EU’s web of bureaucracy there are rules for acceptable pizza toppings. And I am similarly sure that Turkey doesn’t comply. That’s because I imagine they include, for example:
- An expectation that that there is a discernible difference between “pizza sausage” and peperoni.
- A prohibition on luncheon in place of tomato sauce.
- A general expectation that meat products taste different from newspaper.
You might think that this concern is just a coded complaint for the absence of pork products in Turkey, or even the Muslim faith it results from. It isn’t. I’ve enjoyed very credibly pork alternatives in Malaysia, Dubai, even Pakistan.
It is simply a complaint that the pizza we had was loaded with sausage that would be only marginally acceptable to a dog. And an opportunity to poke fun at the most overbearing parts of the EU project, classically satirized by Yes Minister when Jim Hacker managed to beat back Brussels’ stipulation that British sausages instead be called the “emulsified high fat offal tube”. I fear Turkish bureaucrats would be less successful, because that’s the truth about their pizza toppings.